Induced emotions

Apologies first of all little bloggy this week has been a bit roller coaster like and i have neglected you. ((hugs))

I have been filling in forms for the open university so I can get me ass back in to gear and study again and do something positive and enjoyable. Its quite a wierd thing really filling in a form for Disabled Students Allowance when you have depression. The new addition of depression onto the disabled category of those statutes is quite a good and scary thing at the same time, anyhow after a long think and a chat with an Open Uni chappy and I find I am entitled to a mentor, someone to assist me in those dark times when i struggle. Bonus. Just need to see my GP and sort out his bit next week and on we go..

Suffered with a lot of pain this last week too. Although I do have my abdominal scan on Monday evening next week. I am terrified though they will do it and after all this time, all this pain and suffering they find that there is nothing there. In fact as twisted as it sounds I would sooner they find something serious than nothing at all as at least then we can do something about it or at least I will know why it hurts so much.

And now should we move on to the topic which may explain the heading...

I think so. For those of you that have read me before will maybe know my little sister got married last September and is now in the late stages of pregnancy. She has had numerous problems with Gestational Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Protein traces in her urine etc..
Today she went in to see her Midwife and Doctor and her latest protein results are very high, despite the Doctor's mumblings the midwife kicked him to touch and they told her to go fetch her bag she was going in to be induced this afternoon. She knew it would be an induced birth due to the problems but expected another week at least so its sent her, her husband and all the family a bit gaga tbh.
She was induced around half one this afternoon and had a few twinges, she was meant to get another inducement pill thingy at 8.30 tonight but they have decided against it and are looking at breaking her waters now. (just been informed). This is my mothers first grandchild so she is sitting on the edge of her sofa at home unable to settle. She will be going for the birth when it gets closer.

You know, its all great and I am excited for her but I cant help but to admit I have a slight twinge of jealousy deep down inside. I would love to have children so very very much. For me though I wont have such a straightforward chance if I finally have someone who loves me enough and feels comfortable enough with me to go through the medical ordeal a child for me will entail.

Still I will soon be an Auntie and a Godmother for the third time.

This life takes things from us and breaks our hearts and then drops little miracles into the world..