Strange Days

Well it has been a strange couple of days. Yesterday I returned to my GP confessed my severe depressive symptoms and was re-assured that it is perfectly normal to want to kill yourself when you increase anti-depressants. Now correct me if I am wrong but that seems a very peculiar side effect for anti-depressants.
I also have a third kidney infection in three months. I wish I knew what was causing them, I mean if I was bouncing with a bunny every night it would make sense but I am not (mores the pity). Anyway more antibiotics so I am now feeling sick too. If this recurs I have been assured they will be doing a full ultrasound investigation. I personally am convinced that this pain is caused by Kidney Stones not an infection, particularly as I was shown today both red and white blood cells have been present in my urine on both previous occasions. I bet your really pleased to learn about my urine eh.. lol.

Sunday I was told my Aunt Majorie who has her third dose of cancer is very very sick. The planned operation will not be going ahead and they where considering the benefits of chemo again. Monday afternoon I found out this is not the case anymore. A Doctors visit has confirmed what I think we all knew but none of us wanted to acknowledge, she has a matter of days to go. No treatment other than morphine is advised now. My mum is heartbroken as this is her second sister to die/be dying from cancer. I haven't been able to shed a tear although I am assuming this is the power of my pills taking the edge off things for me.

To make matters worse my Mums cat was killed Monday morning. During breakfast my Dad stood up to see her lying on the road outside their house. She was killed instantly and fortunately she was not showing visible signs of her injuries but this makes me so mad. How someone can hit a cat on the road and not stop!
I have been in a similar situation myself where a dog ran onto a main road and I hit him. I immediately stopped and rushed to the nearest house seeking the animals owners. I have to admit I was not much use to them as I was distraught over what I had done but I went there and did the right thing. Why other people don't do this is beyond me!

So life is a bit crazy right now. I am struggling with routine once more and sleep is a pain. I didn't sleep Sunday night as I was in great pain as a result I spent a lot of Monday asleep. Now it is the early hours of Tuesday morning and I feel wide awake. Ahhhhhhhh.