Hello Bloggy,
Im back and feeling a bit more with it. Yeah stuff is still happening but I am sleeping more which makes me turn from little miss manic depressive whingy to a slightly more 'normal' person. Well as normal as I ever get anyway.
The gallbladder pain eased off a bit and although I am still getting bursts of pain from it the crazy whole weekend of agnoy and sleep depriving pain has eased which is a wonderful thing. Ironically I got the first period in about 2 or 3 years on Tuesday which has caused lots of pain but its different..lol.
I have used different contraceptives to control my periods for a long time and the last one was Depo-Provera, It has a wonderful side effect of actually stopping your periods, although be careful I didn't know until afterward's it can have a bad impact on fertility. Anyway now I am having a proper period which reminds me why I hated them in the first place but oh, well.
It makes me feel jealous of men, not only can they pee anywhere (pretty much) but don't have periods,... hmm!
I have had a meeting with my work today, seeing both the occupational health nurse and the HR big guy. I was petrified of going to the point I felt sick this morning and was having strong self harm thoughts all night long. Baddd.
It actually was nowhere near as bad as I had anticipated. My Occ Health lady was very supportive and told me about her son who has severe depression so she has a good understanding of how it affects someones life. I was totally honest with her and told her I was very frightened about the meeting and she could not have been nicer. Typical depression head there, telling me the worst as usual. The HR man discussed my work problems and assured me issues where being dealt with, he even praised my work and emphasised how much they want me back but in a healthy way. He asked me to speak openly and I took that chance and told him about my worries in the department, the problems I see and then asked him the big question...
Are you going to sack me?
He laughed and rushed to reassure me NO. I was relieved, I know I have spoken about not wanting to return there but being back today made me realise how much I miss everyone and the place. He and the nurse both agreed though I was not anywhere near ready to return yet and are going to arrange a fortnightly meeting with me and nursey to discuss and monitor my progress and keep open better communication. Thats a bit relief as I have felt as if they where disregarding me as contact has been so little.
So, feeling good about that.
Worried about something else, but its not me if I am not worried. I wont share that here though...
Hugs xx
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